So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
