there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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