just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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