A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
