Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
