Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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