My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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