girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
