Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
