I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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