Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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