drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize