Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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