um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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