is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
