Got a toothbrush?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
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