I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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