Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
