he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Watching her eat just hurts me
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize