shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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