Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
