i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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