K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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