I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
