I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
