so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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