Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
