Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
