hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
