then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
