im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
