:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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