Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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