worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize