told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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