on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
