OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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