i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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