I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize