he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
