Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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