Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
