The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
