Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We need to get me chipped asap
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
