fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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