There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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