How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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