he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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