I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
