Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
