I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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