i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize