Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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