when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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