My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
