Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
