Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
