Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
