Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize