We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My cat gives me a boner
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize