What a fucking waste of an outfit
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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