you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize