you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We're too hungover to prance.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
