k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
